Married at First Sight Recap: Episode 5

I’m getting caught up after a week off the grid! That’s right, my family really likes to road trip and camp, so we were disconnected for a while. We have lots of posts here on our pre-baby adventures, and we’ll be writing sharing what we’ve learned about camping with a baby. (We’ve written about plane travel with our little explorer.)

It’s a little surprising that another full episode of Married at First Sight is dedicated to honeymoons, given it’s only one week out of the six they have together prior to decision day. Maybe it’s the last time we’ll have all three couples together after Derek and Heather bail? But I’m jumping ahead.

We begin with Lilly and Tom, kissy faced and talking about falling in love with each other while Nick and Sonia are still in the friend zone. At least Sonia thinks her chaste week supersedes how she would have envisioned her honeymoon. Over another breakfast on the ironing board, they check in with each other about the previous night’s disagreement. Nick astutely points out that they followed a relationship commandment by not going to be angry. “Winning.”

A salsa lesson SHOULD be just the right thing to generate some romance between Sonia and Nick, but is instead just all sorts of awkward gringo Nick tripping all over himself. Then the enthusiastic instructor taking his duties a little too far when he coaches the couple on kissing, with an enthusiastic air kiss, MUWAHH. (like when our toddler gives me a big, sloppy open-mouth kiss, which is really him trying to bite my nose but I redirect it into a Muwahh kiss.)

Tom has a positive conversation with pastor Calvin, who helps Tom shed the heavy weight he’s been carrying about telling Lilly about bus sweet bus. “You don’t have to apologize for who you are, Tom,” says Pastor Calvin. Truth. With this burden lifted, Lilly can finally get through a day of her honeymoon without cryptic questions about exactly how “tiny” she can live. Under a stairwell? In a birdhouse? So, instead they make light banter on topics such as “what was your biggest failure.”

All of the couples head out for an adrenaline date because, as expert Rachel puts it, adrenaline and excitement translate well into the bedroom. (As rock climbers of course, we love this).

Tom and Lilly spend a ziplining outing complementing each other and waxing about how well they were matched. Nick and Sonia have progressed from friends to WNBA teammate status (that’s an option on Facebook, right?), as they compete to outperform each other in their various excursions, like kiteboarding and ATV-ing. Sonia let’s Nick “win” kiteboarding, although it’s barely a win, given his performance is barely noticeable until replayed in slow motion. (as he requested.)

Derek and Heather woke up playing nice for a few minutes and we were all, “hooray!” Thankfully, they seem to have moved on from their moral debate about whether smoking or drinking is more evil, but all sorts of crazy new debates creep in.

The couple goes surfing, even after the instructor makes the world’s worst joke about going out into shark infested waters. Of course this is only an excuse to hold Heather’s hand while out in the scary shark-filled surf. Derek’s jealously makes me think maybe he’s watched Along Came Polly too many times? “Hi, hello, are you for scuba?”

Derek and Heather immediately launch into a new debate about the definition of flirting which is grounds for an emergency conference call with pastor Calvin. While Heather is complaining that Derek is acting like a teenager, the other couples are also embracing their inner child. We see Lilly playing “hot lava” in the hotel room, while Nick and Sonia enjoy a yummy bed-timey snack (that’s what it was called in my house).

The last night of the honeymoon brings a romantic celebratory dinner. Tom carries Lilly to the table which is kinda sweet until he awkwardly maneuvers her into her chair. (Looking like I feel while positioning a toddler into his carseat without giving him a concussion on the door frame).

Heather follows pastor Cal’s advice to “knock the freaking walls down,” by getting sloppy drunk. Derek vascilates between optimism that she’s loosening up, flirting and having fun with him… then all of a sudden he’s complaining that she ruined the night by getting drunk. Which one is it, Derek?!!!

Then we get a glimpse into the Derek who has gone cold turkey from smoking and maybe the side of Derek that is so frustrating to Heather. Rational, positive well-spoken Derek suddenly busts out into a profanity laced rant about Heather being an old dog. Not cool, dude. I’m totally confused by these two – seems very unlikely that they’ll recover. What do you think, do you agree?

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